This land is your land, This land is my land...

This song, :This land is your land-Song, has always made me cry. No matter where I am, or what version it is. I always cry... I dont know why.

All I know is that something, in my childhood, has to deal with this song. And it must have been a really bad memory, because this song just breaks me whenever I hear it. Its a good song. I just dont know what it is about it. I think it had something to do with my mom. Or 9-11. My dad thinks me, and my two friends when I was little, Natalie and Maria made a dance to it or something. But its not really a dancing song. I remember like, mountains and a flag, and little kids singing. And I dont know.

Also, I remember watching a movie with my sister Kelly and my mom and it was about a child who fell off a big toy and broke his arm, then like, I asked my sister about it and she didnt know what I was talking about.

I just dont know.

Also, I am lost, I dont know if Im a blonde/brunette with natural makeup and a good girl personality, or a black/colored hair girl, with funky colorful makeup and a badass weird outside, but a sweet personality on the inside. I dont know if I want to be an artist, graffiti artist, makeup artist, poet, charity person, wedding organizer, event coordinator, or what. I dont know if I should fight for my friends who left me when I made a mistake. I dont like who I was, before I arrived at Shasta. I like that I got baptized, and I am living for Christ, rather than myself. I like that I have a reason to change. To not curse, to be a good daughter, and friend. To be the most helpful, loving person I can be. Someone who is fun, and creative, and interesting, and Christian, hopeful, faithful. All of that. I want to be everything.

I dont know what I want to do in my life, or go to college for. I want to learn so many things. Do I know anything at all? Am I intelligente? Am I mentally handicap? Am I mental? Is being different a bad thing? Or am I just the same as everyone else? Did I learn anything in school? Is it possible for me to learn anything? Do memorys matter? Am I stupid? Is there a boy out there for me? Will I have love? Or does it matter? Should I date? Is it possible not to date? Should I care? Is there something wrong with me? Should I change? What should I be? How should I act? What should I do? Who should my friends be? Will there be signs of where to go and what I am? Is this confusion just a stage? 

Am I beautiful?